Doing it All

I probably have far too many “irons in the fire,” but it’s by choice. I would rather err on doing many things imperfectly than doing so few things that I miss out on a well-rounded life. So, I garden, make yogurt, sew, play tennis, raise my kids, paint, try to be a fun wife, clean my large house, start a business, be an active friend, write, iron my sheets, take my kids to sport activities, etc. I think many women do these things; but some are perfectionists who would rather do few things WELL. I think there is much wisdom in limiting your activities, but I’m not at that point yet.

3 Musketeers for Breakfast

Things were not running too smoothly this morning, but I was determined to get my son to tennis practice at 8:30. (He’s 3 1/2 yrs old, so 8:30am for tennis doesn’t sound appealing to him.) I realized we wouldn’t have time for breakfast, so I grabbed the one candy bar we had: a 3 Musketeers bar that I had bought for myself yesterday on a whim in the check-out line. My son couldn’t believe his eyes (nor his luck) when I handed it to him. I stole a bite as we drove over to the courts. I have to say, a 3 Musketeers bar tastes mighty good in the morning! We might never do it again, but it was a fun treat to get the day started. Wish there was something nutritionally redeeming in that sugar bomb.

After tennis we came home and had peanut butter, toast, watermelon, oranges, cereal and milk.

No TV, PLEASE

Yet another day to realize that watching TV is plain bad for kids. My son watched TV at a friend’s house for 2 hours today, and for the rest of the day he was incredibly cranky. I told him, “You’re cranky because you watched too much TV and it’s bad for your brain.” (Keep things really simple for the kiddos.) He replied, “No, Mom, I’m cranky because I want to watch MORE TV.” … I think we’re probably both right. But for sure, I am going to try all the more to keep the TV as far from my kids as possible.

Supplements and Rebellion

My first baby got Vitamin D as a supplement. My second did not. I was skeptical that the supplement was at all necessary; after all, I took my kids outside “a lot.” But looking back (and now preparing for my 3rd baby), I realize that it was partly out of rebellion that I did not go out and buy the tri-vitamin supplement for babies. I was so inundated by medical information (I have a master’s in public health and my husband and numerous friends are doctors) that I lost belief in a lot of it. I wanted to show that a “normal”, balanced lifestyle would be enough, regardless what the “experts” claimed.

I’m starting to think that I was/am wrong. My mother (also an M.D.) has chronic anemia and chronic B12 deficiency. She eats about as healthy and balanced as you can, and yet her body is not absorbing what it needs. She is just one example of many others I have heard about (in person and in the media) who need supplements to raise their quality of life.

So now, my kids get drops of Vit D in their cup of water at breakfast, in addition to the yogurt, milk and cheese they consume throughout the day.

And I, I’m taking Vit B12 tablets daily. Finally. I’ll see if it makes a difference in my energy levels. My sisters claim it makes a HUGE difference in theirs. And my mother has (very obviously) become more emotionally balanced since getting B12 injections at the local clinic.

What supplements have you had success with? I’d love to read your comments, to have more food for thought.

Here is a news segment, posted on YouTube, that describes one doctor’s view on B12 supplements.

Discernment amidst the onslaught of information

The Internet has blown apart our previously limited sources of information.  I went to college when email was just beginning to be used, and the Internet was a quieter place to search for information.  The library was still highly useful.  Now my 3 1/2 yr old son understands that we can look anything up “online” whenever we want to — for example, we were watching videos of the beaches in Elba (on YouTube) the other night, after reading a book on Mediterranean fish.  The Internet has beautiful potential, but I think at the moment, our society is struggling to deal wisely with the vast amount of information on it. 

As parents, it is crucial that we teach to use deliberate, critical thinking as they delve into what’s available.  They should be able to weed out what is superficial, what is false, what is superfluous.  We have to teach them to focus, so that they can harness the energy and produce something greater with it.

Quote of the Day –Carnegie

Give me the life of the boy whose mother is nurse, seamstress, washerwoman, cook, teacher, angel, and saint, all in one, and whose father is guide, exemplar, and friend.  No servants to come between.  These are the boys who are born to the best fortune.  ~Andrew Carnegie

How you feel in your home

Think of how you feel when you walk into a neon-lit McDonald’s on some busy city corner, versus how you feel walking into a cool, silent Catholic cathedral in a quiet Italian city. There is a profound difference, isn’t there? Our surroundings affect us in a subtle but powerful way.

This is one reason, I think, why I felt such emotional urgency to choose a nice house on our last move. I had come to the point where I felt exhausted on many other accounts and saw no inspiration around me in this new city (culturally devoid, and bland in other ways), so my psyche craved a nice surrounding in the form of a house. It might sound shallow, but it’s a natural psychological phenomenon that there are times in life when we seek environments that send us a subtle message to remind us of what we long for: be that order, stillness or a wild life.

Whether we can or cannot move to a home that more closely resembles our ideals, we can outfit our rooms in ways that speak to us, and that make our families and friends feel a certain way when they enter. Bright, garish colors and sharp angles will agitate (or energize), while neutral, sunny colors and soft curves will soothe our sense. Clutter will distract and make us feel overwhelmed by the many things yet to do. Organized boxes and files may still contain plenty of work, but they give us a sense of control. It’s such little things that are significant on a daily level. Fresh flowers on the bed stand or on the dining room table share the natural life with us indoors. A bed in a niche with beautiful (clean!) sheets gives us a haven in which to recuperate. I have noticed that a cleaned up bedroom even helps my son to fall asleep better.

These little things take only a few minutes to do. Take an hour, one day a week, to rush around, setting things in order. 10 minutes of vacuuming, 10 minutes of wiping the mirrors and other glass surfaces to a shine, 5 minutes to make the bed(s), 5 min to pluck flowers from the garden (or pick up at the deli when you do groceries), 5 min to stack the books neatly on the coffee table and next to your bed, 10 min to throw out junk mail and any other clutter that starts to accumulate during the week, 5 min to tidy your closet,… and spend a few more minutes on any other area in your house that needs a touch of beautifying.

What are you doing to send supportive, refreshing messages from your surroundings to yourself and your family?

Cleanliness is Classy

True “class” and elegance is not relative to money. It’s about serenity, discipline and joy.  I think that a clean house exudes those three things.  We just moved into a large, gorgeous old house, which was VERY nicely styled by the former owner. But it was not clean at all!  As I now clean their dirt, I keep thinking that I have been in far classier houses –small, “poor” homes that were clean and beautiful.  So all of you home makers out there who wish you had a few extra thousand $$ to decorate your home, start with a microfiber rag and some soapy water!  Get rid of clutter, and let in the sunshine.  You’ll have a gorgeous home, without a trip to the furniture store.

Quote of the Day

Let your yes be yes, and your no be no. –Jesus Christ

To follow that, is wisdom.  It extends into all areas of life.  It is especially important in parenting, to give children the security of knowing what to expect from a parent, and to instill in them a quiet respect for their parents who keep their word in even the small things.

The final decision

It was a great day yesterday, looking at houses. My parents joined us, since they were in town on a business trip.

1. The first house had the perfect yard, but needed many updates –which would be fine, if the price were lower. We could not justify buying such a spacious place with $800 in heating costs per winter month, and still have to pay top dollar for it. (this house is the black/white photo at the bottom of the collage)

2. Another was very practical and had a great value for the house that it was (had potential for DIY updates), but the neighbor seemed creepy and the house shared its yard with that very guy. (middle, right hand side of collage)

3. The smallest house was as yellow on the inside as on the outside, and in dire need of paint, new fixtures and a new kitchen. But the owners are 90 and 95 yrs old (still there — we met them) and the house exuded such a charm that I almost signed the papers right then. However, it didn’t have a yard, so that stopped me from immediately signing the papers. (middle, left hand side)

Finally, the 4th house,… it was clearly a beauty when it was first built. It seemed that there are currently renters there , involved in the occult. The air / spiritual atmosphere / karma (–if that helps some of you understand it better) was so dark, we all had physical reactions to it.  Even my father, a firm atheist, felt the place was strange.  We left without even bothering to look at the basement.  Sad, really, it was a great house; but I couldn’t endure staying in there a minute longer. (top right in the collage)

And then….. our agent said that we could still go look at the house for which I had canceled the showing.  My husband agreed.  As we drove up, the sun burst through the clouds and the winter day turned warm. (The weather probably caused some selection bias.) The front of the house is not my favorite, but the nice weather helped.  We stepped inside, and we all enjoyed the house as though we had come home.  I didn’t tell my husband how much I liked the house –he already knew.  We let the kids play with the toys lying in the kitchen (the owners have 4 kids of their own), while the rest of us went through the sunny, well-proportioned  rooms.  The house has a new roof, new insulation, new eat-in kitchen, a big laundry area in the basement, and a wonderful lay-out.  All in all, one feels great in that house –psychologically.

We went to a small lakeside pub for lunch. Over sandwiches and beers, we discussed the options.  Actually, I let my husband and father do the talking.   They didn’t come to a conclusion, but my father validated all my husband’s concerns.

Later, we took a walk by the lake. Our son threw rocks in a giant sidewalk puddle (the lake was still frozen, so puddles had to make do).  I watched him from a distance, while I stood with my husband and waited for his decision.  He was very quiet.  I felt completely at peace.  Big or little, fixer-upper or fixed-up: whatever house he chose, I knew it would be good.

What was his answer?  THE 5th HOUSE!  “If you promise me that we will not run after the highest standard of living, and that we will be generous givers to others, rather than spending money on comforts for ourselves.”  I was speechless, and felt rather serious –as if I had just been given a tremendous duty to fulfill.

I wish I knew better how to thank him. Most of all, I’m thankful that he makes the big decisions for us.  And of course, I’m very thankful to him for allowing me this dream house in which to work.